My 100th Post: More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About Me

Realist Mom - 100th Post

Technically, this is my 101st post. In the world of blogging, the 100th post is marked by posting 100 facts about the blogger. Having just spent 3 days coming up with those facts, allow me to be the one to tell you that it is not easy. Not at all. It seems a waste not to stretch this into a few more posts – waste not, want not – right?

So, in the comments after this post, choose the 3 facts you want to know more about – and I’ll expand them into a post.

And there’ll be a quiz tomorrow…

Without further adieu:

100 Random Facts About Me

  1. I have super curly hair.
  2. Wet paper makes me gag.
  3. I’ve read Pride and Prejudice 10 times. At least.
  4. I’ve seen the movies closer to 40 times.
  5. I believe in ghosts.
  6. I believe we are not alone in The Universe, and that aliens have probably visited Earth.
  7. I avoid seeing movies that don’t have happy endings.
  8. I’ve never ingested an illicit drug. Ever. In any way.
  9. One glass of wine at dinner and I get all giggly.
  10. Two, and I’m asleep.
  11. I love running.
  12. I’ve run one marathon and I plan to run more. (NYC 2012, if I get in.)
  13. I like raw carrots, but not cooked ones.
  14. My second toe is longer than my big toe.
  15. I look like my mom but am built like my dad.
  16. I won a spelling bee in 5th grade, but then got knocked out in the semifinal round by misspelling “calibrate”.
  17. I still don’t think I spelled it wrong.
  18. I like my coffee hot – not in some cold concoction.
  19. I once had a psychopathic blogger accuse me of being a drug addict.
  20. My friends and I thought this was so funny, we called me “crack whore” for a while.
  21. I have a tendency to rake leaves and leave the piles for my hubby to rake up.
  22. I taught myself to sew, quilt and crochet.
  23. I’m left-handed.
  24. As a result, people are always surprised that I have neat handwriting.
  25. I have to rub my feet together before I fall asleep.
  26. I’m a “worse-case scenario thinker”. Tell me what you’re doing, and I’ll tell you how you can be killed or injured doing it.
  27. My first pet was a cat named Pepsi.
  28. I talk to my dogs more than is necessary.
  29. I am very stubborn.
  30. I prefer to think of it as tenacity.
  31. I love Christmas.
  32. I love my birthday even more.
  33. I pick at the cuticle of my right thumb when I’m stressed about something.
  34. I love my iPhone and take it everywhere with me.
  35. I will hold a grudged for a wronged friend longer than I would if I were wronged.
  36. I can raise one eyebrow.
  37. That has turned out to be a very useful skill.
  38. My hubby and I were asked not to return to Lamaze class.
  39. My hubby and I eloped. I deeply regret not having a wedding.
  40. I have big feet.
  41. I can’t hear anything around me when I’m reading a good book.
  42. I scream like a girl at scary movies.
  43. I laugh loudly. And often.
  44. The two most important qualities in anyone are integrity and a sense of humor.
  45. I can’t believe you’re still reading this.
  46. I’m competitive.
  47. I am not, and never have been, one of the “cool kids”.
  48. I’m the opposite of an adrenaline junkie.
  49. I wish I knew how to play piano and speak Italian.
  50. I sleep with a blanket no matter how hot it is.
  51. I would rather be too hot than too cold.
  52. I gained 55 lbs. when I was pregnant with my first child.
  53. I cried when I had to buy XL pants to fit me after I gave birth.
  54. I fight against my terrible posture all the time.
  55. I wish I could have Dad and Grandma back for a day – I have a lot to say.
  56. I felt a powerful combination of elation and terror when I heard my daughter cry in the delivery room.
  57. I felt incredible relieved 5 years later when my son first cried after being delivered 6 weeks early.
  58. I enjoy cooking, but I’m not good at it.
  59. My favorite foods are my mother’s lasagna, stuffed artichokes and chocolate cake.
  60. I can’t eat any of them anymore, since I discovered my gluten intolerance.
  61. I finally realized that no matter what I weigh, I’ll always have cellulite.
  62. Sometimes, when one of the dogs throws up in the house, I pretend I don’t see it so someone else will clean it up.
  63. Blue is my favorite color, but I’m always drawn to pink.
  64. I suck at games that require you to strike a moving ball.
  65. My version of dancing includes a lot of booty shaking.
  66. I put my makeup on the same I always have. Only the colors have changed.
  67. I tend to read non-fiction. I love that anything you want to learn is readily available.
  68. If I could go back to school, I would.
  69. You know when you go somewhere, and they stamp your hand? I hate that.
  70. I have a birthmark on my thigh that looks like a chocolate chip cookie.
  71. I fell off my bike and split my lip on a car bumper when I was little. I got 6 stitches.
  72. I love the smell of Play-Doh.
  73. Alan Rickman’s voice is the sexiest thing on Earth.
  74. I refuse to wear uncomfortable shoes – no matter how gorgeous or cheap they are.
  75. There was a period in my life where I subsisted on McDonald’s cheeseburger meals, bagels and Ben and Jerry’s.
  76. I once got food poisoning. On a train. From McDonald’s.
  77. I spit when I run.
  78. I also dance along to my iPod while I’m running.
  79. I have the musical tastes of a pre-teen crossed with a gay man.
  80. The first concert I ever saw was Bryan Adams.
  81. I coached cheerleading for 2 years even though I knew nothing about it.
  82. Chocolate.
  83. I’m pretty sure Colin Firth is as close to perfection as the male species gets.
  84. I can find misspellings on a restaurant menu is seconds flat.
  85. I always find the seat at the movies near the person crinkling wrappers or talking throughout the film.
  86. I once ran through the Quad at my college in my underwear.
  87. I love to see what people put in their grocery carts.
  88. It drives me bananas when people try clothes on and leave them on the floor of the fitting room.
  89. I crack my knuckles.
  90. I sing in the shower, the car and the kitchen. Loudly.
  91. I can’t function on less than 6 hours of sleep.
  92. My dream trip is a tour through England of all the places used in the films of Austen’s novels.
  93. The only fan letter I ever wrote was to Michael Jackson.
  94. I have a recurring nightmare about tornadoes. I blame Dorothy.
  95. I wouldn’t have any trouble hurting someone who hurt my kids.
  96. I believe in accountability and taking responsibility for your choices.
  97. I love the beach.
  98. I’ve always wanted a metal detector.
  99. I envy people who are great self-promoters. I suck at that.
  100. Mayonnaise should be its own food group.

Seriously, did you just read that whole thing? I feel like I should hug you or something!

Tell me below which one you want me to expand into a whole post…

Please?

 

Keep Calm and Shut the F@#! Up.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve seen the “Keep Calm and Carry On” posters based on a little used British poster from WWII. Unless you’ve been under an even larger rock – you’ve seen what seems like a million variations on that theme. Some are witty and clever and some…not so much.

Either way, like Paris Hilton and the Jonas Brothers, it gets old. The more I see “Keep Calm and Get a Kitten” posters, the less I care about the original. Maybe that’s not fair, but it’s true. And if something is less awesome the second time around, it’s exponentially less cool the fiftieth.

Same thing goes for (Insert Literary Classic Here) and (Insert Scary Thing Here). Once they did Pride and Prejudice and Zombies – I think most of us can figure out what Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters is going to be like. Or Jane Slayre. Or Alice in Zombieland. (For the record, I’m too much of an Austen lover to read that book – I don’t really want to know if Wickham eats one of the Bennett’s girls brains. I don’t even want the visual in my head.)

I know fashion recycles, interior design recycles, movies recycle (let’s not even talk about the potential remake of Dirty Dancing, becasue that is just wrong) – everything comes around again. But there’s recycling and then there’s RECYCLING. Out of courtesy, at least wait a decade before you retread an idea and call it your own.

WIth all this said, imagine my chagrin when I saw an ad for this book:

If You Give A Kid A Cookie, Will He...Image via Amazon.com

They actually had to clarify that it wasn’t by the folks that wrote Go The F@?# to Sleep. If the first line of an ad for your product has to point out that you are NOT another product, you might want to pause a moment – because the rest of us just hear “we didn’t come up with this, but we thought we might be able to make a dime by doing absolutely nothing differently.”

You know why sequels are never as good as the original? Because the schtick – whatever it is – is never as funny, or scary, or original the second time around.

What’s next? Oh, The Places You’ll Go, if You Can Get a F@?#ing Job? Or The Giving Tree is F@?#ing Sick of Your Whining?

I’m over it. How about you?