Dear Maxipad Companies,
We need to talk. We need to have a little conversation.
You decorated my maxipads. And my tampons. Why’d you go do that?
Why are you going to so much trouble to disguise my feminine hygiene apparatus?
Who are you trying to fool? Women? Men?
Because, women, we KNOW we all get periods. We get it. My daughters – they’re young and their friends get all embarrassed and giggly about it. When you decorate a tampon to make it look like a party favor, you’re basically telling them they should be all embarrassed, and you’re going to help them out by making it look like something else.
Girls, it’s fine. You got your period. It’s normal. It’s not weird or something to be embarrassed about.
And maxipad companies do you really think someone looks at a maxipad folded into a neat hot pink package and thinks – “Oh, is that a cookie? I’ve gotta have one of those.” They’re gonna be mighty disappointed when it turns out it’s not a cookie. Your period is not embarrassing. Mistaking a maxipad for a cookie?? That’s embarrassing.
I can’t think of anything else that looks this except a pad. Can you? You’re not fooling anyone.
And then I thought, maybe you’re just trying to make things festive. Like, I might be all, “Ugh, I feel gross, I have cramps and a headache…but hey, check out my Technicolor maxipad. Wow, suddenly, I feel so much better.”
Yeah, unlikely. Stop trying to make the Period Party happen.
We just throw the wrapper away. So essentially, you’re decorating garbage. Which I know is the same as what I do with almost every Pinterest craft project I try, but you’re doing it on a corporate level.
I have to say, you took it too far. Why, why do I need a purple or pink or orange tampon applicator? Honestly, NOBODY needs that. Where is the market research that told you that women’s priority is a brightly hued tampon applicator? Why don’t you take that extra money and put it toward something that matters, like preventing domestic violence and rape or cancer research or women’s rights? Or electing Amy Schumer President? That is important stuff.
Just cut it out. Just give me my tampons and maxipads in plain wrappers. Women don’t need to be embarrassed about our periods or convinced our periods are party time. We just need your products to work. If you want to be helpful, throw some chocolate and a Nicholas Sparks movie in that box.