Like yours, my children are each talented in their own way. Jack plays hockey and has some pretty sweet dance moves. Jillian is creative, very funny and plays a mean game of softball. Katie is a skilled equestrian with a great sense of style. I’m proud of the things that they’ve accomplished, and the people they are becoming.
In spite of their various skills and talents, there are a myriad of tasks they seem incapable of completing. I coach, I cajole, I encourage – and still – they can’t do them. I suspect the same inabilities may be plaguing other children as well. Take a look at my list, and let me know if your children are exhibiting any of the same…problems.
5 Things My Kids Can’t Do
1. Get the laundry in the hamper. They come so close. They can get their dirty leggings next to the hamper. They can manage to perch their balled up jeans on top of the hamper. I suspect there may be some kind of force field that protects the inside of the basket from the presence of mismatched inside-out socks. That’s the only explanation I can come up with.
2. Throw away the thing they just tore off the thing they wanted. I don’t know about your house, but in mine, food sometimes comes in packaging. Sometimes, to get to the item in the packaging, you have to remove a little bit of that packaging – like a plastic tab that keeps the bread inside the plastic bag, or a little strip of bag that tears off to reveal the ziplock closure on that bag of cheese or, most challenging of all, the little plastic disk that keeps the half-gallon of milk fresh. In my children’s haste to drink that milk, or eat that cheese or bread – those little discarded pieces never make it to the garbage. In our kitchen, it’s rare that anything is more than 4 feet from the garbage – and yet, they never quite get there.
3. NOT eat in their rooms. We have a rule – which my children interpret as a suggestion – that they should not eat in their rooms. We even have TWO tables downstairs – one in the kitchen and one in the slightly more formal dining room. We’re ready to accommodate their dining needs! It must be that grapes taste better with a little bit of altitude – or is that attitude?
4. Squeeze toothpaste out of a tube neatly. It seems fairly straightforward. A tube of toothpaste has one hole and a tube. You squeeze the tube until the appropriate amount of toothpaste comes out of the little hole. Not in our house. There is toothpaste on the mirror, the wall and all over the flip-top cap of the toothpaste to the point where it will no longer close. It has reached the point where I have to incorporate “Toothpaste Cap Cleaning” into my bathroom chores. This is a sign, along with The Kardashians, that their generation will be responsible for the downfall of civilization.
5. Put the toilet paper ON the spindle. This one isn’t even new. Hell, there are grown men who can’t manage this. It’s just so perplexing to me because of the amount of time they (and one daughter in particular) spend on the toilet bowl. They bring their laptops in there, for God’s sake. If you have time to watch three episodes of Gray’s Anatomy, you have time to put the roll on that little wooden springy thing!
What things can’t your kids do? Share in the comments below!